Tuesday, July 30, 2013

Thoughtful.



You  might wanna start by reading THIS amazing article.





Yea.

Wow.

WOW.

And now here's what I wanna say:




I hope this post conveys the thoughtfulness that went into it.

I am, in real life, a very thoughtful person, but, for some reason, that does not always translate into my writing.

I try.  I do.  But I seem to write differently than I speak.

I have a hard time writing about personal things even though I don't have trouble talking about them at all.

Hrmpf.

Well, whatever the issue is, I do hope that this sniffy, teary blog post captures my touchy-feely feelings.




I am so tired of blogging and am ready to stop.

Stop.  Not just stop and rest stop.



I know, I know.

I can't tell you how many times I've loved, loved, loved a blog and then the girl goes and takes a damn sabbatical and I never hear from her again.

Now I'm her.



It's been coming on for a while.

I bet you could tell anyway, couldn't you?




When I first started blogging I had soooo much to talk about with my house and my yard, but then ...

well, THEN.

Then Jackdaddy just got sick and tired of working on the house, and I then kinda got sick and tired of gardening so much, and then it just got harder and harder to find things to talk about, and then it just didn't seem much fun anymore.




I kept wanting to quit, but then I'd get freaked out by quitting and I would muddle through.

But it kept not being fun and so I just don't want to do it anymore.



I've also reached a point in my life whereby I feel .... quieter.

Inside and out.

I feel a marvelous, fabulous, important shift of going inward.

I wish I could explain it better, but it's hard to explain.


I can say that it entails being quieter in mind and mouth.


More private.

Slower.

Softer.

More gentle and tender.

More contemplative.

More private.

(I already said that.)




Blogging takes time.

It really does although I know it doesn't seem like it.

I was gonna go into a long, drawn-out thing about what all you gotta do to blog regularly, but bleh.

Just know that it's way time-consuming and if you're only doing it half-assed, well, that's poopy.




So, I've been so torn because this blog has become more than a blog to me.  

It's become a friendship.

I do really think we're friends, aren't we?

I mean, we ARE.

So much goes on for me in the comments when we talktalk.

I feel like I know y'all and y'all know me.

So I will miss you.

I really, really, really will and that is what has kept me hanging on longer than I wanted to - us being friends.



But, I guess me not blogging doesn't mean we're not friends, right?

I'll still be reading you.

But, I am going to be on the computer less.

I want to be on it less.

I want less blogging, and less Facebook (I'm not on it much, but I am on it), and less Instagram, and less Twitter, and less email and more LIFE.



Oh, I know that I'm waxing poetic and I'm not saying anything that anyone else hasn't already said (awkward sentence), but I'm there.

I dunno.  It's not just about computer time, it's about that quietning thing again.

Less stuff coming into my brain is what I need right now.

I need to think for long hours.

De-clutter the house and de-clutter my brain.

Breathe.

Have one less thing to do.  That's feeling big for me right now - having one less thing to do.

I know I don't have to blog, but I've started to feel guilty about not blogging and peeeuuuuu I sure don't need any more guilt in my life.  Right?

DOWN WITH GUILT!



I feel a little teary here, but also happy because I'm being true to myself and that is a good, good thing, y'all.

Happy Sad.

And so, yea, um, bye.

I guess. 

I mean, that's weird, right?

Just, bye.

Maybe, Happy Trails!?

Crap, I dunno.   

I don't want to make a big deal of it, but please, please do know that I am incredibly grateful that we met and became friends and that you commented and said such nice things and that we became friends and oh, it was such a fun time for me.

Such a fun, wonderful thing to have been The Wabi-Sabi House.

I mean, we are still The Wabi-Sabi House, but you know what I'm saying.  

You always do, you sweet thing.



Dear lord, I'm shutting up now.

I'll see you soon, OK?

Call me!  (Hee Hee)  

(Don't really call me. I hate to talk on the phone, as many of you know.)


Love,

Michele

PS And, just for fun, HERE is my very first blog post.






53 comments:

  1. Go! Be done and take all the time you need. Let your blog go unwritten and write only when you are ready. Perhaps journal for that writing outlet... maybe... maybe not. I'll keep you in the reader, just in case, but I won't come looking.

    I've enjoyed your posts, getting to know you and seeing someone live out a life I hope to have (unschooling, gardening, road tripping, and such a fun yard)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh, such lovely, kind, endearing words.

      Thank you.

      I look forward to reading your blog more now.

      I am so sorry about your mc. I had one too. Two, actually. Almost unbearable.

      Do keep me in your reader cuz you never know!!

      xoxoxox

      Delete
  2. I've only been reading for a short while, but oh my how thought-provoked I've been! Fortunately, there's lots of your blog for me to catch up on, so I'll be here more I'm sure. I love to read about unschooling (the strewing idea has been rolling around in my brain a lot since you mentioned it) and I've loved looking at your yard. Best wishes!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. And look at you! with one of my favorite names EVER - Adah.

      Now see, I ponder every now and then about maybe writing an un/homeschooling blog so....

      We'll see, but I am SO thankful that you stopped by at all and please, oh please to go and read the old stuff. I am still ME in all that even though I'm not HERE right now.

      Does that make sense? Silly me.

      Delete
  3. Now I feel just horrible about what I said on Facebook today, and of ALL DAYS for me to go to Facebook! Hey Michele, you have entertained us long enough, and it has been a pleasure since the first day I found your blog, I have looked forward to your updates arriving in my email! But, I do agree with you 100%, there is more to life than a computer. Go, enjoy your life, your family, your home... It's been a pleasure! :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. WHAT? What did you say on FB, sweet soul pagan sister friend? I went and looked and could not find a thing.

      I've enjoyed getting to know you SO much. I really have.

      We'll cross paths again, I'm sure of it. (plus, I'm still on FB.)

      xoxoxox

      Delete
    2. No, I deleted it, I felt horrible!

      I had just posted yesterday morning something like...
      Hi Michele since the very day I found your blog I looked forward to waking up and reading your blog each and every day, and for days now... Sardines... Everything ok?

      I had no idea this was going to be posted later the same day.

      Delete
  4. I'll miss your posts, but I understand. After being the keeper of a blog for six years, I finally stopped. At some point, I might start again, but not now. If it's no longer fulfilling, then it's not worth it. Besides, I'm one that thinks you should live your life...not through social media or TV...but by living life. You seem to do that.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Amen and AMEN. I think I wanted to stop at 6 so you were smarter than me.

      And yes, maybe again someday, but not now.

      Onward to LIVIN'!

      Thank you for the kind and understanding words.

      PS Is your blog still visible or did you take it down? I just cannot make myself take mine down all the way. sniff.

      Delete
  5. I will miss dropping by and seeing what y'all have been up to, but I completely understand. My wife stopped blogging a few months ago. She said it wasn't fun anymore and almost cumbersome. And what's the point of that? As always, best wishes to you and yours. Hopefully, we will be back in Austin soon and maybe we can stop by for one of those fabulous margaritas...

    David Duarte

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh man, I would make you guys a PITCHER! I'm dying to give Brooke a kiss and meet your wife.

      It really is hard to keep up a blog. I have a whole new respect for those who do it day in and day out.

      whew.

      You'd BETTER come by now, dammit.

      Delete
  6. Dammit. I have had the most craptastic week the past 7 days, and now this. I'm not being funny. I so completely understand where you're coming from, but I will so deeply miss reading you. Yours is my favorite. Was. Shit. I know I'm supposed to be magnanimous and all and tell you that OF COURSE you need to do what you need to do (and you know that I really do want you to do that) but I just don't have it in me. I will later. Just not today.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm gonna write you privately, Rita.

      xoxoxxo

      Delete
  7. Sweet girlygirl, we will miss your most delightful blog but life is much too short to spend hours on the computer.
    Go be with your wonderful FinnigantheCurious and Jackdaddy and all the critters.
    We love you all.

    Merrymerry a.k.a. Mamma

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You were and still are my biggest fan and inspiration, Mousefeathers.

      LOVE YOU!

      Delete
  8. I couldn't even make a year of keeping a blog. It's hard to do everything we want in this short, precious time on earth, so we have to choose. If I spend less time on the computer, I have more time for yoga, for friends (in real time), for nature walks, swimming in my favorite pool, making, reading, cooking, volunteering, and doing all the things that nourish me. (FB just usually isn't that nourishing, but it sure has been good for activism!) I'll miss the blog posts, but I completely get it. Good for you!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Right?!?! I did not even GET on the computer yesterday!!! not once!! I had a Pinterest moment, but managed to work through it. Heeeee.

      I'm so looking forward to having more TIME. As you know, part of the problem of blogging is that once you're on the computer, well, whooosh, the vortex sucks you in.

      YES, FB for activism is amazing. Simply amazing!! See you there.

      PS I dreamed about Melinda and Brant allllll night long! So funny.

      Delete
  9. Well, I'll miss you. I'll miss your recipes. I'll miss your funny comments--you always make me giggle. I don't read many blogs--takes too much of my time. Yours is, in fact, the only one I get email confirmation of. I also grew tired of blogging, though I think for different reasons, but I understand the need to move on. You know, we don't live that far from one another. One day, on my bike, I'll pop by and say hello.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You'd BETTER pop over, Tina!!! I mean that. I would love to meet you and give you a big hug.

      I will miss you too. I've really, sincerely loved our "talks" on email and I hope we can stay in touch.

      xoxoxox

      Delete
  10. Oh this feels so very familiar. I've been right where you are (or at least in the same neighborhood) and I'll offer this. Stop blogging for as long as you wish with absolutely no guilt, because everything that grows also needs down time. Fields need to go fallow. Water wells need to recharge after a particularly deep draw...

    You may be absent and it may be forever. Maybe not. But please consider not taking the blog down. Let it stay put so folks can drop in, visit, view and re-view. Your writing, your projects, your recipe recommendations, all of the posts here have taken on a little life of their own and they deserve to stay here, even if you aren't.

    Then if, IF you begin to feel pulled back, if and when you find yourself unconsciously composing new posts in your head? You can simply sign in and we'll all be happy-happy to welcome you back. Friends do that for friends.

    Enjoy your head time lady. The unposted life IS well worth living.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Well, SEE, I'll have more time to read your blog (which I love!) now.

      I will definitely leave the blog up. I don't know why I thought I might not.

      Funny, I keep wanting to blog about what I'm doing NOT blogging!!! hahahah. That is a good sign that I do feel so connected to all of y'all.

      YES, my head time. I like that. My fallow time, indeed.

      xoxoxox

      Delete
  11. Ha! I was going to just write, "xoxoxoxo", but instead I wrote, "sosososos"! SOS! Get it? ;) Love you, Mama. Take care of you. This is right. xoxoxo

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh, shit yea, mama, I get it loud and clear.

      Y'all have fun at the cabin and THANK you for letting the boys drop in! They'll keep it cool for ye. Finn was kinda disappointed that the girls were not gonna be there. I THINK he might be a tad sweet on Addison!!!!!! I just get a bit of a feeling!!!

      Delete
  12. Cheers! Go enjoy that wonderful yard and beautiful family. We will be thinking of you! Please leave the blog up for two reasons: #1 is selfish (I want to read from the start) #2 it is really my favorite and although you're not blogging people will still find this blog and read it and it needs to be read....it warms the heart. Thanks for choosing to share your life stories with all of us. Sincerely, Keisha

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh, you, I sure will miss your sweet, kind, make-me-feel-so-good comments!

      Please do read from the start! So funny to go back and see how I used to write. (LONG)

      Do you have a blog? Can you post it if you do?

      Delete
  13. You know? I've had a feeling you were reallllly in transition. I say good on ya'.. move on without a smidge of guilt. Other things are calling you. Answer, try different things and just be freeeee!!! I love you like crazy.
    ms mdd

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yep, you knew I was. I am. I love you like crazy tooooooooo, as you know.

      I'll keep you posted on everhang and I'll find you on FB more now.

      xoxoxox

      Delete
  14. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  15. p.s. Land's Sake and O My Gosh! I just looked at your first post and can't believe what work you have put into that poor downtrodden little house! It's been an amazing journey.
    ms mdd

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I KNOW!!! Lordy, when I look at that picture ... . We did good, didn't we? Sniff.

      Delete
  16. No edit button :(


    July 31, 2013 at 7:11 AM

    I guess I will have to get off my butt and come visit you. It's a great blog and who knows someday you might suddenly decide to start again. I haven't touched mine since April but know I will go back to it. Blogs are for others but most importantly for yourself to explore and use and when you reach a point where they aren't working you should leave.

    You never lose a friend they always are around. We're friends and you just need to send me an e-mail and ask for a cup of sugar and I'll drive over with it :)

    Hugs to the brave woman who knows what she wants to do next even if it's not knowing

    Your friend,

    Nancy

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hello my friend.

      How ARE you?!!

      Without this blog, I might not have ever met you. sniff. And here we are neighbors and such.

      I'm gonna walk down to you one day and make you make me a cuppa! and some new ear fobs!

      We'll stay friends, no doubt about that, Missy.

      See you sooon, ok!?

      xoxoxxo

      Delete
  17. GOOD FOR YOU! As you well know, and as others have said, no decision ever needs to be permanent, if you don't want it to be. You can always come back. Or not. Whatever you want to do, and whatever feels right to do, that's what's best. Life is way too precious and short to spend it doing stuff that doesn't make us happy (anymore). XOXOXO

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hello bestie!

      Weeeeee.....we're growing!!!! (unfortunately my ass is too, but we can talk about that later.)

      Hope I can see you this weekend.

      xoxoxox

      Delete
  18. I painted my house lilac & green, raised chickens & have the strangest looking garden. All from your encouragement, through your blog.
    What can I say.... Thanks, doesn't seem like enough !!
    Although my neighbors will begin to wonder if things do start to "normalize" around here. Live well, Love Large, go forth, enjoy

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh, who is this!!?!?!!?

      I wanna see your lilac and green house and your chikkins and your strange garden cuz that would make us kindred spirits!!!

      Thanks doesn't seem like enough from this end either, you know.

      Sniff.

      Delete
  19. will miss you
    will celebrate your choice
    will always be wabi-sabi in our hearts

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. ONWARD with wabi-sabi in real life!

      I will miss y'all too.

      I really will.

      Delete
  20. Well.
    I'm a bit speechless.
    And I'm sending you an email, because what I want to say should not be bloggerized.

    But hugs and kisses, here on this public forum. There is a time for everything. Well done.

    ReplyDelete
  21. Oh! I can totally understand. I hope you leave the archives up for me/us to peruse. And I wish you so well on your next adventures!
    xoxoxo
    Karen

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Will do, mamacita.

      LOVING your blog and handing you the hat to carry on!

      makingshift.com = yummy blogaliciousness!

      Delete
  22. I feel like I was barely just getting to know you. I've been reading for awhile, but only commented a few times. I've loved all your posts, and especially seeing the garden/house/food stuff. I told you before, I am in Austin, and have been tempted to stalk you so I could see in person your wonderful arty house and garden. tee...just kidding. I am so into the wabi-sabi way of life, which is what led me to your blog in the first place. So when I use or think those words, I'll always think of you and laugh a little bit.

    Seems like a lot of folks are getting worn out and tired of the time social media takes from actual living. I am seeing this on so many blogs, and people apologizing for not writing, and feeling guilty for not writing. When it becomes another thing on ones "to do list" it stresses more than gives pleasure. I admire you for taking the step to reflect and just do what feels right. Life goes in cycles, and we all need to recharge, and yes, BREATHE...new changes, quieting, thinking, slowing...etc. Best wishes to you and your lovely family.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Well, I have just loved Running with Scissors in Suburbia and I look forward to reading YOU more now!

      You MUST stop by!! Please do. Do you know where I am in Brentwood? You can find me or send a private email.

      I am so worn out and tired of social media. I just am. I love it and I need a break.

      Turning 50 has been WONDERFUL. Just SO wonderful and I'm all about doing what *I* want right now. ME.

      Breathing. DEEP.

      I will see you over in Suburbia, OK?

      Thank you for writing!!!

      Delete
  23. I can't remember how I first found you (Unschooling forum maybe?) but I have LOVED reading ever since! I totally respect your decision to step away, and I appreciate how long you've stuck around!

    My not-so-little boy would like nothing more than to hang out with FinnegantheCurious on the trampoline and zip line; my husband would like to visit to build something with Jackdaddy, and to help keep Austin weird; I would just like to meet you and soak up your awesome energy.

    Best to your family in all your new adventures! If you're open to connecting about the joys of unschooling an only boy please let me know!

    P.S. I remembered to say "Jackrabbit" today! : )

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Michele to Michelle - weeeee!

      Oh an unschooler! See, I was thinking that maybe my next blog would be more about that.

      Or not.

      ahahahah.

      Where are y'all? In Austin?? COME ON BY and bring that not-so-little! We'll let 'em run WILD!!!

      I am TOTALLY open to connecting about only boy US. Email me privately, ok?

      Delete
  24. Oh, gee...I'm glad I stopped by today! I will miss you, Michele! I'll miss Food Fridays. And watching Finneganthecurious grow up! And watching your gardens grow...I was just talking with my sister, Carey asking her what she was going to do with her blog! Blogging isn't easy, and it is time consuming and it would drive me nuts!! LOL!!! I've loved getting to know you and your family. You are a special kind of person, Michele. Wishing you all the best in your future endeavors!

    ReplyDelete
  25. First...WOW on the article. I saved it. I really really need that right now. Thank you. And second....frack!damnit!hell! WHEN am I going to 'see' you and chat if not here?? We're in the same hood and I see you maybe three times a year. But, I hear you on wanting a shift in experience and perspective. In fact, I'm glad you know when 'it's time' to call it a day. A few blogs I check in on are scrounging for content and post a paragraph for their readers, and that sucks too, cause I know they're just 'phoning it in' and they're no longer into it. So, peace be with you. I love you. See you 'round the hood....

    ReplyDelete
  26. Thanks for all the words & photos, Mizz Holt - and thanks for leaving the blog up. I sure do understand being tired of blogging (my own blogs seldom get a post nowadays) but for we who love to reread books, a taken-down blog feels a little like book burning, those lovely phrases and interesting images now just invisible ashes blown off across The Internets.

    Rest & Rebelle!

    Annie at the Transplantable Rose

    ReplyDelete
  27. Hey Michelle, I haven't even been reading my favorite blogs that much lately, let alone posting on mine. So I TOTALLY HEAR YOU!! So glad I checked in--just to say so long! None of us is really going anywhere. We are all still here. Just going to shift a bit how we communicate and connect. I think you are so wise--I will just miss you and your musings! You have such a good sense of what is truly important--so you are smart to trust your instincts to switch off the social media. If you are ever in Laguna Beach, please say hi!! Seriously, you have shared so many wonderful resources, secrets and sheer joy, and I have appreciated every cyber moment with you. Best to you and your family! More adventures in store!! Janine from Laguna Dirt

    ReplyDelete
  28. I often wonder about all those garden bloggers whose blogs have been idle for a year or more. So I appreciate your telling us ahead of time so I don't have to wonder. It is sad though because you bring a smile to my day and very often a great meal to my table. Maybe you will be back some day...I do hope so.

    ReplyDelete
  29. oh my gosh. wow. I don't know what to say. Has it been 11 days since I visited your blog? And now you're just gone? poof?
    Come on girl. buck the fuck up.
    I had to.
    But, if you don't, I'll still love you.
    you'll be one of "them."
    The people I love that I met through blogging.
    HOW CAN YOU LEAVE?????
    Sigh. DAmnit.
    We'll still be connected, always connected, through the quilt right?
    I'll miss you sweetie.
    XO

    ReplyDelete
  30. p.s. GREAT article.
    and, I get it. I live it.
    I support you.
    and it was GREAT to know you. I REALLY WILL miss you.

    ReplyDelete

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