So, FinnigantheCurious and I were making zucchini bread on Monday.
If I can extract him from the computer for 14 seconds he usually enjoys cooking quite a bit.
Especially when it involves carbs and sugar.
He is not a dumbass.
Anyway, I always make my zucchini bread with mostly whole wheat flour.
This time I bought some Hodgson Mill's flour and I was reading the back of the package while he was
You're gonna have to read that second paragraph before we go on or none of this is gonna make much sense.
It's not gonna make much sense anyway, but you're not doing anything important right now, so what the hell, right?
So I'm reading all about Mr. Graham and how he advised to "... get enough sleep and rest on a hard mattress, take cold baths and showers, drink pure water only when thirsty, eat 3 meals a day precisely 6 hours apart, wear loose clothing and practice cheerfulness at mealtime."
In my head I got kinda tickled because I was adding things to this statement like, oh,
abstain from all sexual relations unless procreation is the goal thereby rendering relations unavoidable.
refrain from singing, dancing or the consumption of alcohol.
avoid loud or forward women.
I was laughing at myself because what on earth about that little bio on Mr. Graham would conjure up such silliness in my head?
Still, I had a feeling, so I Wikki'd him:
Graham was also inspired by the temperance movement and preached that a vegetarian diet was a cure for alcoholism, and, more importantly, sexual urges. The main thrust of his teachings was to curb lust. While alcohol had useful medicinal qualities, it should never be abused by social drinking. For Graham, an unhealthy diet stimulated excessive sexual desire which irritated the body and caused disease. While Graham developed a significant following known as Grahamites, he was also ridiculed by the media and the public for his unwavering zealotry. According to newspaper records[which?], many women fainted at his lectures when he aired opinions both on sexual relations and the wearing of corsets.
I was right, dammit! I was.
He died when he was only 57 so, so much for all that advice he gave out.
I do like the idea of practicing cheerfulness at mealtime and for sure I like the idea to drink pure water only when thirsty.
I get so tired of forcing myself to drink all the water I'm supposed to drink.
8 glasses a day.
I like to drink a big glass with lemon when I wake up and then just when I get thirsty.
Well, I don't like to drink that big glass in the morning, but I do it because my friend Mo said that I should because it gets everything all working and I can see now that she is right.
What I really enjoy in the morning is a giant cup of strong as hell tea with cream and lots of sugar.
That's my advice for longevity.
Drink something you look forward to!
Every night when I go to bed I swear I think about that big cup of tea that is only some hours away.
That and a big slab of zucchini bread slathered with butter.
This plays right into Mr. Graham's advice to wear loose clothing.
I am alll about the loose clothing, y'all.
Finnigan and I fight over the crusty ends which you cannot really see here.
We each get an end and then we each get a soft middle piece too.
I even bought some decaf PG Tips so Finn could have a strong cup of tea without blowing his brain up.
That's what so nice about being and "older" mama.
You get to be more like a grandma in a lot of ways cuz you know there's only so much you can do.
You can give them spelt and microgreens and flax seed all day long, but when the shit hits the fan it's sweet tea and bread they're gonna run to.
You know what I mean.
That was a whole lotta nothing about nothing, wasn't it?
Glad to be of service.
Oh, listen, at 1 pm today I want you to envision me being very successful and doing a great job!!!
I don't wanna elaborate too much right now, but I do want you to send me strong vibes of SUCCESS.
Don't be a slacker now, all-right?
Set your alarm.
If I get the job, I'll make you some tea and zucchini bread.