This is an absolutely riveting story about a vacuum cleaner.
That is a joke.
It is a story about vacuum cleaner, but it is not riveting.
I guess it's also about ridiculous irritation at the way things are made today.
I know you're on the edge of your seat.
I bought this vacuum 6 years ago:
Well, that's not a very good picture, but it's a Simplicity "Jack."
I loved it.
I am so lucky to have a houseful of hardwood floors and just a rug or two so I definitely need a canister vac.
LOVED my Jack.
Except ... it broke.
First a wheel came off. (Warranty. Yea!)
Then another wheel. (No warranty. Boo!)
Bought a new wheel.
Then the push down start button thingee broke.
My human Jack fixed that.
Isn't that awesome?
He put a real switch on it.
I really, really loved that.
Then the hose started breaking.
Tons and tons and tons of duct tape because it kept breaking.
But then the hose wouldn't bend as easily.
Bought a new hose.
Then the cord started getting really hot.
Then the cord started unraveling.
Cord still hot.
Made me nervous-ish.
Then this ...
Do you know what that little thingee is?
It's the top thingee for for the plug.
I mean, come on.
I really think a vacuum should last more than 6 years.
I do vacuum a lot.
OK, some, but still.
It's not like I live in a mansion or have heavy carpeting.
I really, really dislike this about appliances and crap today.
We paid a lot for a front-loading washer that died after 6 years too because the ball freaking bearings wore out and NO ONE, I mean NO ONE, would replace them plus the cost to replace them was as much as a new one.
My blender, my lovely orange blender (that I cannot find a picture of) broke the first time we tried to blend some ice in it. (That was Jack, for the record, not me.)
Guess what? NO, you cannot buy new blades for it. You have to buy the whole effing glass jar with the blades connected to it. And it was sooooo freaking expensive!
All of them.
UGH! Such a throw away society we live in and it makes me insane in the membrane.
And even though I could still keep buying parts for the vacuum, it costs a fortune! I've almost paid for that damn vacuum twice!
So I bought another one.
I bought a Jack knock-off.
I figure if it's gonna fall apart in 6 years, it might as well be cheap.
And, I feel guilty for buying a new one!
How's that for 21st century bullshit?
We kept the other one for parts and for Jackdaddy and Finn to tinker with.
And don't you go telling me how you still have your grandmother's Kirby because I am really miffed already, Missy.
I am going to write the Simplicity people too because I think we should all say something.
I'll be nice, but I want them to know that I'm bummed and that they should try harder and shit.
That's good: Try Harder and Shit.
You could take that a couple of ways.
Oh lordy, now I've got the giggles.
If you want some real blogging to read this morning after this disappointing post, here's a few links for you: