Tuesday, April 30, 2013

I am a Dumbass

I started noticing that the new, fancy tomatoes in my new, not fancy big stock tank were turning yellow.

Not the good YELLOW, but the bad yellow.


That's not good, that yellow.

Boo.  Hiss.

So I started digging around, literally.


Wet like a nappy full of pee wet.

Soaking wet.

Next question:   Why?

WHY so wet?




I am such a dumbass.

So I spent about 40 excruciatingly frustrating minutes trying to get the f***ing plug out and finally gave up.

Went with this:

A gazillion drilled holes.

Water shot out of there like Niagra Falls, man.

Brought back memories of driving around in cars, drinking illegally, holding our pee until we could all crash out of the car and bombard some gas station restroom.  

Or, whatever, but it was so full of water.

Some call that hydroponics.

Anyway, the other (only?) interesting thing about this fiasco was that the water smelled like cow.

BIG time cow.

You know that smell?  

Fresh cow (live)?

I bought this stock tank from a ranchette outside of town so I guess it just had years of cow slobber built up in it or something.

It was heaven.

I love that smell.

The dogs next door were freakiiiiing out. 

They are already insane with desire for my cats and my chikkins and now?



So, in life, always remember to pull the plug before things get out of hand.

That's kind of good advice all the way around, not just for stock tanks, you know.

Tomorrow:  Super cute overload.  I think.  Hasn't actually happened yet, but I'm hoping for it.

PS Don't forget to say Jackrabbit for luck in the morning.


  1. I'm not a detaill person so I know how easily this could happen. Good work!

  2. Yike Yike .. this has happened to me too in a grow box container thing. I am always doctoring my plants when they look puny. Sometimes it is ants and sometimes it is too wet/dry .. I feel like a nurse practitioner, taking temperatures and thumping chests but that is what it takes, I reckon. Just glad you discovered the problem.
    ms mdd

    1. Ha ha, yes! It is like nursing. Or mothering. Same thing, most days.


  3. Speaking of the dogs next door did you get your fence built?
    Does someone out there have the answer as to how you could have gotten that plug out?
    And did you get your four new chikkens? What do Melba and Lanell think of them and most importantly of all: WHAT ARE THEIR NAMES? If you continue the "Mama's dead friends" theme let me know. I have some more names for you.
    When will the tomatoes be ready for tomato, white bread,salt, pepper, mayo sammidges?

    1. NO because the damn guy cancelled again!!! I'll tell the story on the blog. $%&#*&$#(.

      YES, today. FIVE new! No names yet except one is margaret. Melba and Lynell hate them, but they hate everything, really.

      girl...im salivating.

  4. Oh my god, this post was amazing. I saw the title and knew it was something I needed to read! You are too funny, and just so you know, I get all excited every time I see a new post from you in my reader. Keep it up, if only to keep me entertained.

    1. All for YOU! That makes me so excited that you are excited!

  5. Thank you for the much needed chuckle. I'm glad us dumbasses stick together. xoxo

    1. Don't you love that word, dumbass? My mama says it and it cracks me UP!

  6. Oh, Mamaholt, I have done that exact same thing -- with a stock tank at my old house. My lovely xeric plants were looking none too happy, so I looked closely and discovered the drainage plug was still closed. Ha!

    1. You would THINK that we would know better.

      you would think.


  7. As you know, I'm a garden newbie, so the yellowing leaves I can understand in only the most abstract sense. But that whole car, illegal drinking, peeing thing: THAT I know! You so such a good job of writing for your audience. ;-)

    1. omg would WE have had some fun drinking and not peeing together or WHAT?

      Well you too, missy!! I love your blog.

  8. One year, I fertilized all my tomatoes with nitrogen fertilizer. All summer long. And watered a lot.

    And got the biggest, bawdiest plants you've ever seen, and teeny tiny little rock hard green tomatoes dangling all over them.

    Like a wrestler on steroids. Picture it. I'll wait.

    Note to derp-self: Nitrogen for LEAVES, not for FRUIT. And don't water every day!!


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