Monday, April 15, 2013

Forlorn

I am still grieving so hard for my Luna that I'm going take a week off.

I really don't feel like writing.

I'm kind of a private griever.

I am a private griever.

I do want to take a moment to thank everyone for their kind, kind words and even gifts.

Mo and Carolyn brought over flowers - so sweet.

We got several cards in the mailbox from friends and neighbors - so kind.

A handful of people stopped by to offer hugs - thank you all and I'm sorry I was not able to be more available to you for those hugs.  I'm not good at hugging when I'm grieving.  I'm funny that way.  

We buried her in the yard on Sunday and it almost killed me.

I held on to her paw until Jack told me I had to let go so he could finish.

I know I'll feel better at some point, but right now I don't even want to.

I want to let myself feel as bad as I need to for as long as I need to.

She was that kind of dog.

I felt like this when I lost my cat, Maggie, but I still had Luna and Beau so that helped.

Then again when I  lost Beau, but I still had Luna.

And now they're all gone and I am bereft of them.

I wish I could always live my life as intentionally as if it were my last day, but that's just not what we humans do, is it?

Maybe I'll try harder because I know I would have spent her last day much differently had I only known.

Had I only known.

See you in a while.

Love,
Michele





8 comments:

  1. If I were magic and could fix it you know I would but I can't. I can only grieve with and for you.

    Mama

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  2. Oh sweet Mama. Love and light to you all.

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  3. I always wish I had 5 minutes more when someone I love dies. I hope your grieving brings you the peace of those 5 minutes. She waited for you. That is totally beautiful & important. I hope that brings you peace, too. Xoxo dear, sweet Michele.

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  4. I'm so very sorry. It's the worst kind of pain. :(

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  5. I read an article the other day with George Saunders and he was talking with the interviewer about the awareness that one feels after experiencing death...that you notice and appreciate the small details of life. That you don't take things for granted. If anything good can ever come from death, maybe that's it. I hope you find peace and comfort on the other side of your sorrow.

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  6. Oh Michele, sending you love and peace.

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  7. What an awesome picture to have. It is so very hard, I'm sorry. xoxo Leah

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