Friday, March 1, 2013

Friday Food.

Oh, FIRST - Say Jackrabbit!

First day of the month you gotta say Jackrabbit for good luck.

(Did I tell you that my mama emails me and my brother on the last day of every month to remind us to say Jackrabbit?  She does.  Isn't that cute?)

Now, on to Friday Food, hodeehos!!!  Oh, it's been soooo long.

Today, I bring you Beets!

Beets, beets the musical fruit, the more you eat the more you...

Waitaminute now sassy.... wrong food.



Ewwww, right?

If you google "How to cook beets," you're gonna come up with all kinds of newfangled, fussy ways to cook them, or some old-skool boiling/Borschting thing, but I'm here to tell you that sauteed, slightly burned beets are mouth-watering delicious.

I mean it.

They are really, really, really good.

Not "good for beets good," but just good.

OK, I mean, if you hate beets then these are going to be "good for beets good," but if you like beets just a tiny bit, or want to like beets, then this is the recipe that will put you over the edge.

I'm not gonna write this out as a recipe cuz there's really not that much to it.

Just follow along in your head and you'll know what to do when the time comes.

I dub this:  The World's Most Poorly Written Recipe for the World's Best Tasting Beets

Wash your beets.  I used 3 medium sized beets in this "recipe."

You can do this washing with varying degrees of intensity.

You know me ... I just rinse them and make sure there's no big clods of dirt on them.  

I've never scrubbed a vegetable in my life and hope to never start.

So.  Wash/rinse/whatever your beets.

Slice the ends off.

Slice them into rounds.  Not too thick, not too thin.

Then stack those rounds on top of each other and cut them in half and then half again.

Or HOWever.  Don't get bogged down on this step.   You can dice, or slice, or whatever, just make them smaller than rounds and a bit bigger than dices.

Now, I will  stop here and say that I do think a cast iron skillet is the best medium for cooking these in, but any heavy bottomed pan with a lid with do you fine.

Add a small glug of olive oil to the pan.  You want the beets to kind of sear, so not too much oil, but enough so that they don't start sticking right away.

Turn your heat on medium high and let that pan get a tad hot.  Not super hot, just about 1.5 minutes on medium high.  You wanna hear a little sizzle when the beets go in.

Dump all the beets into the pan and pass over them with some salt n peppa.  I say more peppa than salt, but that's up to you.

Stir them up for, oh, say, 3 minutes on that pretty hot setting.

Now, add a glug of water to your pan.  Less than 1/4 cup.  Whatever that is.

That should all sizzle and steam.

Put the lid on the pan quickly and go do whatever else it is you need to do, but keep your nose working because that's what's gonna tell you when they're ready.

The very first second you smell "burn," go take them off the heat.

This means you're gonna have to keep your sniffer working so don't go outside and hang clothes or anything like that.  I would say it's a great time to go have a Pinterest break.  You know that smell, right?  Just the faintest whiff of, Oh shit something is burning!

Lift the lid carefully cuz you may still have a little steam and give them a stir.  They should stick some and look a bit burned, like this:

I know, I know, they don't look that good, but I am telling you, from now on out, you will always want your beets a teensy bit burned.

Leave them in that hot pan and stir them around so they stay hot, but are not sticking anymore.

You can serve them just like that, or you can quickly crumble up some good Gorgonzola on top like this:

So now you have these glorious beets that are kind of steamed which makes them sweet and easy to eat, BUT you've kind of seared/burned them so they're crunchy and smoky on the outside.  

Sometimes when you get beets crispy on the outside, they're dry on the innards, but these are steamed and crisped so ... perfecto.

Holy shit, man.   You add that cheese and your mouth is gonna trip out.

Do not add too much cheese here! 

Just a bit because you really don't want to overpower the beets and you know how bossy Gorgonzola can be.

Eat them fast while hot. 

Bow down to my greatness and beetness.

If you find this exact recipe on some fancy blog, please don't tell me.  I don't wanna know.

I wanna continue to believe that I made this up all by myself.

Y'all make this, OK?

Make it and tell me what you think cuz I wanna know if yours was as good as mine.

Don't tell me that you burned your damn house down because you got sucked into Pinterest and forgot about your beets.

I'll have no sympathy because I've been there, done that.  

A million times.

At least.

Happy Friday, y'all!!!

PS Anybody want 4 loud, always peeping, never not peeping baby chicks?  I know where you can get some free.  Right away.  Delivered.  Did I mention free?


  1. I honestly cannot think of a better way to start off our new month of March than reading this blog today.
    You are so refreshing and I just love this one!
    Thanks, but no thanks to chickkens, peeping or not.

    1. OH shoot! I was gonna give you these chicks for a belated birthday present!!!

  2. I'll take your chicks if you deliver them. heh. I have never ever heard of Jackrabbit on the first of every month. Where is that from?

    My beets are better (easier) than your beets. Rinse, cover in foil, put on baking sheet, bake the shit out of them until they're soft, slip the peel off, slice and sprinkle with baslamic vinegar. hehe

    1. I'm driving your way now! hahahah.

      I dunno...from my mama, that's where. heeeeee

      did you try mine? huh? did ya?

  3. I truly adore beets-- I am intrigued by the thought of slightly burning them! I've always baked them in a foil packet in the oven and it takes literally hours before they soften up. A lot of wasted energy, right? I will definitely try your method.
    I'm normally not a big fan of Cheesecake Factory but one time I had a small salad made of diced roasted beets, watercress, crumbled goat cheese and roasted pecans. I went home and tried to duplicate it with wonderful results. I didn't know what the delicate, sweet dressing was, so I used equal parts of rice wine vinegar and agave nectar. It turned out great! Love your blog!
    ~Carolyn in Salt Lake City

    1. HI Carolyn in SLC, Utah! Lovely, lovely state you live in there.

      I have had that same salad from CF and it is SOOOO GOOOOD!!!! We had to eat there one time on a trip and I fell in love with it too.

      You're smarter than me cuz I never came home and made it. I think I will now too, also, too.

      And YES, on the beets. See, I roasted them too but it takes so damn long and I just had about 15 minutes and thought it couldn't be done, but it could!

  4. I love beets. And I told you: chicks are cute, but they're assholes. Never get chicks. Get 12-16 weekers.

    1. sigh. lesson learned. never again.

  5. alright, your holy beetness, i'm bowing already! sheesh! ps, chicks will only get louder, best to trick someone to take them fast.

    1. I am TRYING to trick people right now!!

      I mean, as we speak I am whining on my neighborhood listserve.


  6. alright, your holy beetness, i'm bowing already! sheesh! ps, chicks will only get louder, best to trick someone to take them fast.

  7. Okay. I'll do it. I've never really had beets. I have no idea why. I'm gonna get all over this recipe and make it my bitch.

    Chicks, man. That constant cheeping is why I keep the newbies in the garage under heat lamps. Outta sight, outta sound. Dig it.

    Think of the glorious eggs to come!!

    1. Since no one else is as stupid as me (meaning no one will take them), in the garage they go tonight.

      Warm enough during the days to keep them out, but my old hens no likee them and the BIGGEST issue is my cats!! We have never had babies before and the cats dont bother the big hens but they ARE going to eat these babies.

      I need a big cage for the babies. one of those big folding wire things.


      did you make those beets?

  8. Holy beets, Beet Girl.. If i had your phone number i'd be on the line to thank you for introducing me to the wide wonderful world of beets. I was skeptical, afraid, almost didnt try them - but i did and Shaaazzzzaam. My new BFF, the beet.
    Boiled up the tops and ate them too... i am oozing beets.
    Gone out to buy more to cook tmrw.

    1. WOOO HOOOO I can see you've turned a lovely shade of beet pink!

      Can you feel yourself being healthy and beety?

      SO glad you're a beet girl now. Beet girls unite. (good name for a blog.)


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