Tuesday, January 8, 2013

A Fish Tale.

So,  I'm out walking my dog Gus when I spy something on the curb in a neighbor's yard.

Now I happen to know these particular neighbors and I love their house so my radar was peaked.  (One of them is an architect and the other is a realtor  which =  cool.)

What I spotted was a small mint green table.

I sauntered (raced) on over for closer inspection.

WOW.  Little metal side table.  Tallish.  Drawer.  Mint color.

Did I mention it was mint? 

It had a cute sign on it that said something like, "I need a new home."

NEXT to it though ... oh, next to the little metal mint table was a taxidermy fish.


It had a cute little sign that said, "Adopt me."

Well then, OK!

But now I had a dilemma.  

Fish or table?

Table or fish?

Let dog off leash and take both?

Crap.  Total scavenger dilemma.

I foolishly took the fish first.

I was just around the corner from home so I planned to race the fish and the dog home then come right back for the table.

I hoisted the fish under my arm, kinda, and drug the dog home.

Threw him in the yard, set the fish down gently, and went to get the table.

I was coming around the corner when I saw a woman driving slowly in the vicinity.

I can tell another scavenger a mile away.

She was closer. 

And in car.

Damn her.

She turns into the driveway and I'm hoping against hope that she doesn't like something about it, but THEN some OTHER ho drives up and rolls down her window so she can holler to the first (actually second, if you count me), "I was just coming back to get this!!!"

I was done for.

I decided to let them duke it out, but man I was totally freakin' irked as shit at myself for taking the fish first.

Course, now I have a fish and she just has a perfectly minty metal table.

 Taxidermy fish deserves some Polaroid love, don't you think?

Dear god.

I couldn't even figure out how to photograph him.  Her.  It.

What will I do with it?

Um, I dunno.

I gotta take that limb off his back first, poor thing.  He's attached aptly to a piece of driftwood.

He deserves a wall mount of some kind, for sure.

I see him above my garage door.

Do you think he's waterproof?

Ironic, no?

So, there you have it.

A taxidermy fish for The Wabi-Sabi House.

Cass and Carla, if y'all are reading this could we get a story behind this guy?

If not, I'll have to make one up.

(As if this story is not enough.)

Hope your day is fishy and fun!

PS I forgot to tell you that all my animals were horrified by the fishAngus finally got his nerve up to sniff at it.  He then decided he needed to guard it.  With his life.  Poor thing, he was compelled to sit by it all day, unable to leave it for fear of what might happen.  Weird protection Pyrenees thing, I guess.


  1. What you need to do is to get one of those carts like at a grocery store so that when you are walking Gus and find more than one treasure you can put them in the basket and not agonize over which one to take, which one to come back for.
    I like the fish better anyway. Good job. Good Gus.

    1. Or hook a sled up to Gus!

      Don't think it hasn't crossed my mind to do both of these things.


  2. Merrymerry is really quite funny. Of course your fish story is funny as well. And where would you put that minty green table? I DO NOT WANT THE FISH.


    1. Nancy, Wait! You don't? I was going to give to you.


      I'm not sure I want a damn fish either.

      Fish hangover.

  3. I cannot believe you chose the fish over the table! HA! But now you have a fish, and I don't. he. I don't want one, either. ;)

    1. ME freakin either.

      I THOUGHT the fish would be lighter and the table heavier.

      That damn fish weighed a TON by the time I got home.

      Dammit, I wanted that table. IF nothing else, to SELL!

  4. Always grab tables first. I learned the hard way, too. Well, on the other hand, time for a good fish tail, er... tale!

    1. Groaaaaaan.

      I wish I'd just gotten both and roughed it, dammit.

  5. Always grab tables first. I learned the hard way, too. Well, on the other hand, time for a good fish tail, er... tale!

  6. I agree with Merrymerry. You would be the cutest bag lady in the county! I would have gone for the fish. Another table will come along, but a FISH? Keep it. Your back yard is yearning for it.
    ms mdd

    1. Well, it's true that the fish is quite the catch as opposed to a regular old cute table.


      quite the catch!!

  7. Hilarious! I'm a table junky, so I would have grabbed the table, but that fish is a hoot. I know you'll do something great with it. Obviously you need a bike with a cart! xo

    1. The sad part is ME TOO. I'm a table junkie!!

      I just keep telling myself that the woman who got it really needed it. I did not "need" it.

      YES, you KNOW it. That IS what I need is a bike cart like the one I saw at the post office. Do you have one now?

  8. Wait, you have a dog? Why am I just now learning this? Do I live in a hole? wait...don't answer that.

    1. I have TWO gods ... HAHAHAHA... not gods, dogs.

      TWO dogs and two cats and two chickens and some fish.

      And a child.

  9. I probably would have grabbed the fish too!

    1. Great minds think alike.

      I think it was the right choice even though I really wanted that table.

  10. Girl, finding you, this, here is such a delight. Love that you are living the story.
    So good.

    1. HONEY!!!!! Well, what a surprise!! I've been thinking of you because I know your birthday is near and also because Finn and Max now go to the same skool.

      HOW ARE YOU?

      Some things never change, huh? I'm still picking up stuff from the side of the road.

      xoxoxox So good to hear from you.

  11. Hot damn, woman, that fish is FANTASTIC!!!

    1. Isn't it though!!!????

      I love him more and more.

      I think his name is Carl. Named after Carl Smith who is an old, old friend of my parents. When I was a kid we used to go over to their house for these epic fish frys. Fries? Carl is in his 80s now and just as handsome as he was in his 40s.

  12. This was painful to read. But there's a certain serendipity with scavenging. So I'm sure you will do something fantastic with that fish. Put it this way, if anyone can, it's you!

    1. I'm thinking of putting him over my garage door that has the mermaid painted on it. Course, you can't see the garage door anymore due to the BD gate/fence, but WE know it's there, right?


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