Thursday, December 20, 2012

The last one.

After today, I will move on.

A part of me doesn't want to.

It feels wrong - to move on.

We cannot stay here though, can we?

We must raise our eyes to the day and be alive.

And so we will, but I know I will do so tentatively and with reservation.

I will think of my little Charlotte Bacon every day.

I thank all of you who took my lead and picked a person to remember every day for one year.

I went back and added Adam Lanza to the list as well.

He is our child too.


Here is the last vintage photograph I have of me with Santa.

Isn't that some sweetness?

I remember that dress so well.

I wonder what that little pin is that I'm wearing on the front of it?

You can't see through my hesitant smile, but I'm missing my front teeth.

I keep thinking about the baby teeth of those children.

They should have all lost a tooth or two by 6, right?

Can you imagine that?  Those parents clutching a baby tooth.

No words for that kind of pain.

No words at all.

My dear friend and neighbor, Lorri, sent me this beautiful passage from a website she visits.

I thought it was so wonderful that I wanted to pass it on to you on this last day of mourning here with me.

It's from a website called The Power Path.

There is a lot of really, really good stuff there.  I do hope you take a moment to check it out.

Dear Friends,
Yesterday's massacre in a Connecticut school has left us once again holding another large scale trauma in our collective. Incidents such as this one have been part of a larger pattern of aggressive, predatory and violent behavior which has been prevalent in our global society as a pattern for a very very long time. It is truly time to change the pattern whatever it takes.
So in the next 24 hours if you can please light a candle for a time of prayer for the victims, and in the spirit of December's theme of forgiveness, forgive the pattern that has dominated the way of the collective up to this point, and that has driven us to operating out of fear instead of love.
To help those who are the victims of this particular event, take a rattle or a drum or two clicking sticks and use these tools to release their spirits from the pattern. Thank them for their sacrifice so that the rest of us can wake up. Using the same tools, help those who are the victims of the trauma to release what they can of the energy of the pattern.
And lastly look into your own heart and forgive yourself for any time you have acted out of hate, envy, fear or revenge, or have been aggressive or mean-spirited towards another human being. Find a way to love yourself more in these times with compassion and forgiveness.
If we are to shift successfully as a collective into a new pattern of responsibility and relationship driven by love and not fear, we must do this. Let those who have died to wake us up not die in vain.
With compassion, forgiveness and blessings,

I really like this: "... forgive yourself for any time you have acted out of hate, envy, fear or revenge, or have been aggressive or mean-spirited towards another human being. ..."

I close my eyes and breathe that sentiment in deeply.

My friend, Christi said (typed) this to me yesterday:

"Whenever I find myself paralyzed by this crazy, fucked up world we live in I come to a point where I have to choose to either let the despair envelop me or break out and do something....anything.  So, I'm at that point and have decided to do as much good as I possibly can.  It won't change the laws, policies or societal bullshit (although I do plan to work on that too) but it will make the world of the people around me a little better, and I expect they will do the same and the love will spread exponentially." 

Isn't that so right-on?

I just love that.

Thank you, Christi.  (And I can't wait to show you the beautiful swag she gave me.)

So ...  let's, shall we?

Let's all get out there and just do as much good as we possibly can.




  1. My favorite:


    When despair for the world grows in me
    and I wake in the night at the least sound
    in fear of what my life and my children's lives may be,
    I go and lie down where the wood drake
    rests in his beauty on the water, and the great heron feeds.
    I come into the peace of wild things
    who do not tax their lives with forethought
    of grief. I come into the presence of still water.
    And I feel above me the day-blind stars
    waiting with their light. For a time
    I rest in the grace of the world, and am free.
    — Wendell Berry

    1. Hey, I left a long message to this.

      Grrr...where did it go?

  2. This says it all. I want to rest in the grace of the world and be free.

  3. Every day I pray: "Please help me make this world a better place today by something I do, say and think."

  4. Thank you, and yes, yes, i will do my humanly best to be, think, and act with kindness and compassion. also, thank you to corrick family for sharing such beautiful words and thought, with nature our hearts will soar. xo

  5. Yes, the parents will clutch the baby tooth. And the lock of hair. And the clothes which sill have the essence of the child. And the scraps of paper, found around the house, for years to come, with the backward S's and A's. The photos with Santa or of the menorah being lit. All of it. Forever.


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