Wednesday, October 31, 2012

Happy Halloween, y'all!

Drusilla gets decked out for The Holiday every year.

Doesn't she look fab?

She needs to be holding a lit fag though.  She really does.

I like that it looks like she's kind of giving you the finger.

I mean, not YOU, but, you know.

Gruesome plastic hands are a big hit every year.

Major dollar store score.

They are such incredibly horrible plastic evilness that I guarantee these will look just like this 1,000 years from now.  

Sure to to scare the crap out of some anthropologist circa 3012.

Doing my part for science.


Raven thing.

Now these, these things get shabbier and shabbier every year.

Most of them are so shot that they look more like black winged blobs as opposed to birds.

I like things fancy, you know.



Pretty pumpkins with those tiny pansy things in a TIRE.

Trash, I tell you, TRASH.

BEWARE OF CHILDREN and other things too fierce to mention.

(Bet you weren't expecting a Burl Ives serenade today, now were you?)

This is Larry.

This year he's Russian Larry.

That sign says, "Hi" in Russian.

I think.  

FinnigantheCurious wrote it so I'm hoping it just says "Hi" and not something totally "eight year old boyish" like, oh, "HELP! SOMEONE CUT MY PENIS OFF!"

We get so many Russian trick-or-treaters around here, you know.

Russian Larry is rigged up on a pulley so that you can let him go flying through the yard just as small, terrified children are walking up to get candy. 

This year we are unveiling the ubiquitous (or not) bowl of "eyeballs."  

All children will be semi-forced to stick their hand in a bowl of "eyeballs" before getting their candy.

No pussyfoots allowed around here. 

Hands in, or NO CANDY!

Course, you know that's not true.  I'm the house that buys the best (worst) candy and gives GOBSFUL to every kid.

I'm also the house that's having 3 little boys sleep over after eating candy for 7 hours.

Wish me luck, y'all.

PS What's your favorite candy?  I mean, Halloween candy, not your favorite favorite.

Mine's Tootsie Rolls.


Monday, October 29, 2012


Did you realize that guacamole is raw?

When this 2 week raw fast is over, I may never eat guacamole again.

Guacamole this, guacamole that, guacamole everything!

My boys were gone all day Sunday so I languished in the outdoor tub.

The cool fall air and the bright sunshine made for a stellar bath experience.

My ennui was relieved by the tub and a good magazine.  

(My mama and I love the word ennui and use it every chance we get.)

I sat in the tub and stared at this beautiful combo.

Those are the seed pods of my Senna tree that butt up against the Knock-Out roses.

The Senna has just finished flowering, but there were gorgeous masses of yellow flowers in the mix when it was.

Isn't nature beautiful?  I mean, that combo was almost profound.

I had to get in there and clean out the tiny, baby lettuce sprouts.

My method of planting lettuce is to pour a bunch of seeds in the palm of my hand and throw them in the bed.

Caution to the wind, y'all!

But then I have to go in and pull up all those babies which never ceases to make me feel kinda sad.


Cackle, cackle.

Delicious babies, indeed.

Whilst I was gone over the summer (that seems so long ago now!), the Bermuda grass took over many portions of my yard.

I usually nip that stuff in the bud, but, alas, rain and neglect allowed it to invade and prosper.

Bermuda grass is evil, y'all.

I have made FinnigantheCurious promise that he will invent a way for cars to run on Bermuda grass and the world will worry no more.

You just can't kill it.  

Anway, I spent a lot of time digging this small patch out yesterday.


Had a little "accident" at the nursery and  came home with yet another Thryallis and a Plumbago. 

Got them planted and mulched.  

Also planted a couple of bottle trees to help me remember to water the newbies.

I love weekends.

Everyone seems to think that mamas who stay home with their kids have tons of time.

Au contraire, Alistair.  Just the opposite.

So when the Daddy is home and they spend most of the weekend out and about doing boy things ...

AHHHHHH.  Mama gets rejuvenated.

How 'bout you?

Did you have a good weekend?

Did you suffer from ennui?

Hope so!

Friday, October 26, 2012

Friday Nothin'.

Y'all have a good weekend!

Some COOL weather rolled in last night so you know where I'll be ...


or, as a true Texan, bundled up in my "it's below 70 degrees!" clothes:  Parka, gloves, ear muffs, etc..

wink. wink.

Thursday, October 25, 2012

In the Yarden.

First, let me say that I had the most delicious thing happen yesterday!

I was in People's Pharmacy and this adorable girl/woman said, "Michele?"

I got that blank look in my eyes because I didn't recognize her so my brain went into overdrive searching the memory chip.

(My brain is already in overdrive when I'm in People's Pharmacy here in Austin because there is sooooo much fun stuff to look at, including FOOD.  Hot cooked food.  Heeeeee. It really is a bit overwhelming though with so much interesting stuff and I do get a bit glazed in there.)

Come to find out, it was GATOR GIRL! 

Hoo Haw she has THE funniest blog and I don't quite understand how I lost track of it these last few months, but I went back over there when I got home and omg, that girl is sooo funny.  And, apparently, she's a chiropractor and works out of People's which is pretty fancy if you ask me.

Y'all go get a good laugh over at her blog, OK?

I'm gonna have to track her down more often, cuz she is my kinda girl:  funny, smart, friendly, a doctor. 

Hell, I should marry her!

Some food love from the last couple of days:

Omg, the cleanup is HELL.

I'm not sure if the benefits of juicing and eating raw outweigh the stress of cleaning up 456,998 times a day.

I "need" a different kitchen if I am to be this healthy, I can tell you that.

I "need" a LOT more counter space and a island with a prep sink in it.

That's gonna happen "real soon."

I also need a mandolin and a dehydrator.


FinnigantheCurious said this was BLOOD drink.

I was tempted to tell him it was the blood of my suffering for being a mother.

HAHAHAH.  That's what a good old-fashioned Catholic would have said.

Fortunately, people don't really do that shit anymore.

Well,  I don't at least.  Not being a Catholic anymore and not being old-fashioned and all.

I wish you could know how giant this bowl is.

It's giant.

I ate it all and licked it clean.  (TWSS)

Yard stuff:

Did I already show y'all my new Thryallis?

I love my new Thryallis.

I moved those oilcloth chairs over behind it and it looks just perfect.

La, la, la.

Finn's sugar snap peas.

We've been measuring them every 3 days.  HOLY crap, y'all, those things grow more than an inch a day.

Like my ass.

When I'm not eating raw, that is.

Broccoli, swiss chard, and a volunteer basil.

Also a volunteer bottle tree growing.  

Typical Texas garden with multi-season plants all growing together.

It's October 25 - HOT and muggy here.


Parisian Market Carrots.

Plllleeeease grow.  Please, please, please grow Parisian Market Carrots.


Freshly watered.

EEK, it's a LEEK!

I went down to a neighbor's (awesome) garden and they fronted me some leeks.

Cream of potato leek soup.

Day 15, y'all, day 15.

Little figgys.  Figgies?

I don't think I really like figs, but if the zombie Apocalypse happens, there will be food for us all.

Plus, my mama loves figs so I planted it for her just in case she moves here to be near her sick, homeless daughter who has no one to care for her or her ailing child.


A volunteer potato!!!

What the hell?

Potato leek soup may really happen.

Isn't it cute?

Every year I say that I am going to rip out a bunch of ornamentals and put in a giant herb bed.

Every year I plant a few measly ones in this bed.

Speaking of multi-season - I've got dill and basil and sage and a potato in the same bed.

Weird.  Weird and delicious.

Like me.

Some bitchin' roses that were here when we moved in.

We call them "Marguerites" because we take them down to Finn's other grandma who lives across the street from us.  

She loves pink roses.

I love pink roses in her house and not in my garden of RED and YELLOWand ORANGE and PURPLE.

Precious little Mexican Mint Marigold.

Supposedly tastes like tarragon.

Tastes like chicken to me.

HAHAHA.  That's a joke.   You know the old, "Tastes like chiken!" thing.


Tomed ya.

Tuesday, October 23, 2012

RAW, baby, RAW


My friends, Lorri and Jessie, and I are attempting to go raw for 14 days.

Two weeks with nothing but fruit, veggies, seeds and nuts.

I woke up this morning wanting hot coffee with lots of cream and sugar to sip with an enormous bagel smothered in butter.

Yea, so, I'm off to a great start.

HA, no, really.  I'm super excited!

Jessie and I went shopping to get all our goods.

Dude, you have never shopped so fast in your life as when you are buying only produce and nuts.

Look at all that goodness, y'all.

I feel my cells quivering at the thought of all that going into my body.

Why are we doing this?

Well, myriad reasons, I guess.

We're all three of us just really interested in health and fitness and wellness.

Lorri and I are at that time in our lives when the weight seems to creep on no matter what we do or don't do.

Can you say HORMONE loss?  

But also just because we're all trying to get really clean in body, mind and spirit.

There are so many freaking food ideals out there now.  It can get beyond overwhelming.  I mean really, really beyond overwhelming.

Soak your nuts! Don't eat rice, it's full of arsenic! Meat causes cancer!  Wheat causes cancer! Carbs are bad!  Carbs are good! Sugar is terrible!  Sugar is OK!  Dairy will kill you! Dairy is healthy!

SHUT THE F**K UP already!!! I wanna eat!


OK, but for me, I want to eat mostly vegetarian bordering on vegan.

I eat meat on rare occasions (like my friend Mo's birthday party when she made scratch mole chili.  God, it was heaven.)

But really, really rarely.

More than what I don't eat though, is what I do eat.

Joel  Furhman's masterpiece - Eat To Live:  The Amazing blah, blah, blah whatever it is ... changed the way I think about eating.

Forget about what not to eat and instead eat more, lots of, tons of vegetables and fruit.  Mostly vegetables.

Michael Pollen said it too in his masterpiece - Food Rules:  An Eater's Manual:  "Eat food, not too much, mostly plants."

Pollen advocates some fish and meat and that's fine by me.  I'm choosing not to do that except in rare instances and I'm even trying to stop that, but whatever you want to do  to feel best is fine.

So, here I go, kicking it up a notch and trying to eat raw for 14 days.

If you'd like to watch the first half of a movie about eating raw and diabetes control, you can see Eating Raw: Reversing Diabetes in 30 Days HERE.  It's a beautiful, beautiful documentary that will warm your heart and make you smile.

Here are some raw food links if you're interested, or bored, or both:


DAVID WOLFE  (Helllooooo David. wink wink.)


and the every lovely KRIS CARR who is not raw, per say, but such a love bug and inspiration that I can't help but send you her way for some wellness warrior love.

Anyway... food for thought, no?

I love growing and changing and trying new things.  

So exciting and rejuvenating, those fresh starts!

I'll keep you posted as to my progress.  I'm actually going to weigh this morning.  I have an old scale back from my serious workout days and I'm gonna dust her off and see the numbers.  Not that weight loss is my goal at all, but it will be fun to see what transpires.

Off to eat some bananas.

And grapes.

And blueberries.

And quiche.

Just kidding.

That will be on Day 15.

Monday, October 22, 2012

Sick Boy.

(Do you remember that awesome Social Distortion song, "Sick Boy?" Mmmm, loved that song.)

Anyway, I have a sick little boy so no weekending fun for mama.

Just puking and wailing and gnashing of the teeth.

Lots of chess.

The real way as well as lots of matches with Finn's made-up rules.

Crazy chess, man, with those rules of his.

I broke out every medicinal tea in the house.

I firmly believe in tea and honey as the great healers of the universe.

Mad Libs.

I can take about 3 rounds of Mad Libs before I feel like slitting my wrists.

How many times can I laugh at the words poop and penis before I go insane?

How many hours can he play video games before he goes insane?

I fear we'll never know as he's not insane yet.

My eyes hurt just looking at a picture of that screen.

Oh, and one fun housey thing...

Check out this gigantor new braided rug I got for FREE!

Whad'ya think?

You like it?

It's very large.  Too large really, but everyone immediately got on the floor and made themselves comfortable.  

I think that's a good sign.

Maybe I'll keep it through the "winter" and then see how I feel.

I do love braided rugs.

The colors aren't really right for me, but it was freeeeeeee.

So, anyway, hope there's no puking your way today.

Wish me puke luck.

I mean, no puke luck, I suppose.

Friday, October 19, 2012

Friday Food

It's gonna be one of those days.

I can just tell.

I wrote you a looooong post last night about food and and cooking and menu planning and budgeting and a whole bunch of other fascinating stuff.

Today, this morning, it's gone.

Gone with the wind, Scarlet.

Gone with the wind, Rhett.

Fortunately, I had this delight to wake up to.

If you look at it just right, it looks kinda like a cute little robot face thing guy with one good eye.

Here kids!  Have some one-eyed robot bread!

Oh well, at least the house smells delicious.

Maybe I'll see you Sunday at the annual Johnson's Backyard Garden Potluck?  Oh, it's such a wonderful, wonderful time.  I'm teary the whole time because it's so dreamy and farmery and wholesome and shit.

I'll be the one with the Fantastic Mrs. Fox costume on.

FinnigantheCurious will be the one with lots of black clothing and a weapon.  Which is how he pretty much dresses every day, but it does look like a costume.

Have a foxy weekend, y'all!

(I may just say that from now on.  Don't you just love that phrase, Foxy?  It's so 70's funkalicious.)

Wednesday, October 17, 2012

Bathroom Bitch

FIRST....omg the rice thing worked!!!!

I have my camera back and will not "get into trouble" after all.

Holy freaking WHEW, y'all.

Actually, it looks like there are rain spots on the lens, but they don't show up in the photos which is weird, but who cares, right?


Thanks so much! for all your good ideas and positive vibes.  xoxoxox

Now that that little dilemma is all settled,  I wanna bitch about my bathroom that, by all accounts, is so pretty, but is grating on me like I'm a hunka,  hunka cheese.

Here's the pretty part:

So pretty, right?

I was obsessed with that tile when we ("we" meaning Jackdaddy) had the bathroom down to the rafters.

Oh, it is soooo pretty and mod and spa-like and ocean-like and all things dreamy and mermaidy.

The shower:

Mmmmm, green.

Mermaid green.  

I actually think it's called something horrid like Fairway.

Ugh, golf.

I call it Mermaid though and so that's what it is.

Here's the rub ...

When I bought this tile at the wonderful tile store over here on Anderson Lane - The Tile Guy - my tile dude, the lovely John, tried really, really hard to educate me on why I really, really should not use white grout.

I could not be convinced as I am as hard-headed as they come when it comes to design.

Poor John.  

Smart John.

Stupid, stupid me.

The white grout is fucked in every imaginable way.

Oh look! There's even a random fish oil supplement on the floor.  Lovely.

I swear to the goddess that I have just scrubbed that floor.


Really, really deep stains that happened instantly.

This grout was white white white when it was installed.

Fourteen seconds after moving in it looked like this.

Plus our tile installer was a shithead stupid ass and so the tile is popping out all over the place all the time.

(Don't tell Jackdaddy, but I just put a glob of craft glue in the hole and stick the tile back in.)

It's so much easier than putting that official glue shit on there and neither one of them works.

At all.

I really want to rip that tile out and start over.

Sick, right?

Starving people right down the street, I imagine, and I want to re-tile my crappy ass bathroom.


I want this:

Subway tile.


Dark grout.

Course, I have "nothing to do" and might as well just rip out an entire bathroom floor to replace it with new tile.

It's a tiny bathroom, but it's my only bathroom.

The thought of 3 people with one bathroom whose floor is ripped up is more than I can handle. 


I might freaking freak out and do it because I can just crowbar that shit up and lay this stuff down in a jiffy.

Jiffy being relative, of course.

I dunno...I'm a psycho.

I just loooooove that subway tile look and I feel like crying or killing something every time  I look at all the evil stained dirtiness of the floor now.

wahhh wahhhhh.

On a lighter note, you know what makes me soooo happy?

Seriously, if I lived alone I would so tile that whole bathroom in tattoo tiles.

SO, so, so tile that bathroom in tattoo tiles.

I'm not gonna do a damn thing about any of it, of course, but it was fun whining to ye, matey.