Friday, May 20, 2011

Cuteashell.

So, I have this friend, name of Anna.  Palindrome name.  I love palindromes.  She used to date this guy named Graham and I was really into pretending that palindromes were actually called anagrams because, you see, anna and graham...anagram.  Um, but, of course, a palindrome is not an anagram and I was forever trying to explain why I called her name an anagram.  Very tiring, that kind of conversation. 
What on earth am I talking about? 
Oh, Anna. So Anna is just the funniest girl.  She used to have a chikken named Lucy.  But not just Lucy, but Lucy the gd chikkin.  If you tried to call her just Lucy, Anna would insist that you call her by her full name.  Some people are quite uncomfortable with that particular bit of swearing, but it's really impossible to resist Anna.  Another funny thing she would do is refer to things as cuteashell.  Part of the humor in that is that she would write these loooong emails that she called tomes and they would go like this:  soanyaway i wa s htinkging shta tyou should comea nd hang out with mea nd luckythegdchikkin cuz taht would be so funand wouldnt we have fun andhall that kind of stuffand whathave youbeendoing anyway...blah blah blah... with all these words and sentences run together with not even the tiniest bit of thought to spelling or grammar or whatnot.  It drove some crazy, but some of us loved it. (I still do love her long, rambling emails although I rarely get them anymore as she has a daughter now and you know how little time one has for long, rambling emails once you are a mama.) (I would love to tell  you what she named her little girl, but I suppose I should ask her if it's OK first.)   You'd just die over this baby name.) But in these tomes she would always say this was cuteashell or that was cuteashell so, to this day I still say and write cuteashell all the time.  Whew.  The point being that  I found all kinds of silly cuteashell things in my garden today:


Doesn't this little elephant ear look like it has a face?  Weird, evilish eyes and an OHpen mouth.  He looks like The Green Man to me.  Oooo! Maybe I can set this guy up like people do when they see Jesus or the Virgin Mary in their screen doors or in spiderwebs and such.  I can charge pagans money to come and touch my Green Man elephant ear.  They'll line up down the block - ye olde faithful, and we'll charge them  to touch him. Oh!, maybe we'll get lucky and he'll start "weeping"  (think Texas morning humidity) and then we'll be famous.  Or not.



I have no idea why this picture is sideways.  Use your imagination because I'm just too tired to do anything about it. We were doing a little sprucing up around here and Jackdaddy put a cover over the fire pit to keep the birds from pooping on it.  I was out in the yard putzing around and I saw this from a distance and could not figure out what was on it.  I got up close and realized it was this old Disney sheet from his childhood.  OMG could you die?  It's this cuteashell little fitted twin sheet all tricked out with Bambi crap.  I'm sorry, but that is just too cute.  I took it off immediately and brought it in to keep it safe and sound for future generations to guffaw at.   Bambi - (That "kid friendly" classic in which the mama gets burned alive in a forest fire.  WHY is it always the damn mama, I ask you?)



Cuteashell little hummer feeder.  I like these tiny ones.  I didn't get any hummers last year and none this year, so far.  Boo hiss.  Year before last I had tons, but the bees ran them off. I like bees too though.



Can you find the cuteashell caterpillar in this arrangement?  Some little warthog put it in there.  No one will confess, but both of them fall into hysteria whenever I try to get to the bottom of it.




This is a tease.  It is not cuteashell, but quite swanky. 
Able was I ere I saw Elba.  







7 comments:

  1. Girlfriend, that ain't no caterpillar - that's a centipede! Remind me to tell you the funnyashell story of my manny and I chasing a centipede out of my house with a broom - I was in hysterics, he was hysterical.

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  2. AHAHAH. You said manny. hee hee. TG it's plastic!

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  3. My whole world is better when I can start the day by reading a new blog from you. This one is, of course, cuteashell.
    Ask Anna if she minds if we know her daughter's name. If I ever have another daughter (I am 77 so what are the odds?) I will name her
    either Sophie or Mavis.
    Do any of your readers know what kind of a bird says "Bob White"?
    Merrymerry

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  4. do you know who demetri martin is? you would LOVE him. he's a comedian, but he's a super-smart, quirky, nerdy comedian. AND he wrote a palindrome poem. a 224-word palindrome poem! *nerd-swoon*

    love you. you know who i think is cuteashell? you.

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  5. A friend of mine told me to spray Pam cooking spray on the openings of the hummer feeder. Hummers don't land to drink and bees do, and this is supposed to make it slippery. I'm going to try it this weekend because we have a ton of hummers but the bees bother them.

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  6. I have that Bambi sheet too!!! It is awesome and the best ever, isn't it? We must protect our old cuteashell sheets!!! :)

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  7. I always take a peep at your blog site to see if you have posted. These ones are great. sogreat! I would love your funny friend. Your mamma and I love LOVE to play with words on email. Your new stuff looks beautiful - everything - I love the amoeba (ammeeeba) plotz on your tub plate. It's the suprises that make us sooo wabi sabi.
    Mz.Mudddddddd

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