Well I'll be.

I had THE funniest damn thing ever happen yesterday. There's a little old lady who lives down the street from me. We "Hidee" each other every now and then. She's not the friendliest thing, but after four years of me hounding her, she's kinda just given up and now she's almost, almost chatty with me. I was out in the front yard finally distributing the last of the mulch (that's been sitting there for two seasons now) when she walks by. I said hello and she slowed down to peer in at me.
"You got a big job there, don'tcha?" she says
"Oh, I sure do." I say.
"What are you doing?" she says.
"I'm spreading the last of this mulch."
"What about all the grass?"
"Oh, well, I'm trying to get rid of all the grass and just have mulch."
"WHY?"
"Uh, well, mostly for environmental reasons, but also because it's almost impossible to keep any grass or plants with these big dogs and the two live oaks with all the shade."
"Well that's real nice about RETIREMENT, but what about the way it LOOKS?" (OMG could you DIE? Environment = retirement)
(Trying not to fall over laughing) "Well, I actually like the way it looks."
"Well I'll be."
And she walks off.
Isn't that just the most hilarious thing ever ?
This has prompted me to admit something that I've been mulling over in my head for some time. I have decided to admit, once and for all, that I am not a gardener. I am a yardener. That's my new moniker for myself. I like to putz in the yard; I like my yard to look interesting and different; I like it to be somewhat neat and tidy; I really, really like it to be environmentally sound; I do not really like to fuss and fawn over plants. I'm OK with this. There is much to be said for yardening. Now, I do have some plants and I really like them. I do plan to have more, but I'm feeling good about letting go of the pressure to be a "real" gardener. From now on I'm not going to make any more excuses about the lack of plants in my landscape. I'm just gonna keep on mulching and making paths and hauling rocks from Hancock and feeding the wildlife and making yard art and sticking free stuff in the ground and hoping it lives. (I'm being a tad facetious here in case you couldn't tell.) Honestly, I like plants that are invasive so I get lots of bang for my buck. I like beds with the same plants over and over so they look full and tidy without me having to think too much about it. I like stuff that doesn't need any babying (other than my "baby", of course). I don't really like a lot of variety in my yard. I already have a variety of 586,988,485,999 pieces of plastic toy crap in it that I pick up almost daily...that's all the "variety" I need. Here's an example of my yardening:

Look at this crazy thing in my yard? I think it's a Photenia. Who can tell at this point? I was going to cut it down when I first moved in, but then I realized that it's a squirrel and bird haven and it provides shade for 1/2 of the east side of my house. Now, this is Austin. I'm not cutting down big shade just for style. Any self-respecting gardener would have hacked it down asap, but a yardener, like myself, will just look the other way and appreciate it for what it is - ugly shade.
I know just what you're thinking - Well I'll be.