NOT what you're thinking.
The middle-of-the-night-naked-dance is when you hear a huge noise outside and you and your partner jump up at the same time and start running aimlessly around the room, whispering loudly and frantically, "WHAT WAS THAT? DID YOU HEAR IT? WHAT WAS THAT? GO LOOK! NO, DON'T GO LOOK! WHAT WAS THAT?"
All that crazy adrenaline rushing through you causing you to do nothing that makes sense much less to do anything that actually helps.
We got some seriously crazy wind that rolled in with a storm early this morning. We heard a huge, I mean, HUGE noise which propelled us up and and out of bed to do the dance. Jack finally got it together and went outside. I stumbled to the back door to offer moral support, should he need it. I heard him holler that our dog, Angus, was out. Out meaning outside of our fenced yard. This is not particularly unusual for Angus as he has a predominant wandering gene, but he is afraid of wind and rain and thunder and lightening and loud noises and even the noise of soft Nerf bullets flying by (but that's another story). For him to be out meant only one thing - the noise must have been something breaking so he could get out. Sure 'nuff our new, 14 gazillion pound automatic gate had been swung around by the wind so that one end pivoted off the track and slammed into the other side of the fence. Honestly, it weighs FIVE HUNDRED POUNDS. The wind moved it six feet off the track! Here's the gate as it's supposed to look:

Nope, sorry, we did not get the camera out at 5 am to take a picture of it off it's track. Wish we had later. We were still in the thick of the early morning daze coupled with the rain starting and the dogs freaking out and the wind still kicking. Could I stop here and say that FinnigantheCurious slept through the whole damn thing? The child who refuses to sleep ever, slept through the doors being opened and slammed closed and the dogs running insanely through the house and Jack and I yelling at each other from across the yard. Hilare. I did get a picture this morning of some of the damage. It's worse than it looks here. You'll just have to believe me. It. was. crazy. man.
The wind also kicked some gargoyle ass. Knocked his poor little head right off.
Took down the tee pee. Wish it had blown that SO glad it didn't blow the ugly much-loved trampoline into someone else's yard.
My globes and the always-about-to-fall birdhouse survived. Old man Luetkenholter put up this huge bird house about 25 ft. in the air on a rail thin pole that is buried about 12 inches in the ground. I'm not kidding. He anchored the damn thing by running wires from various other trees and structures to the pole. It's held up by wires that run all over the yard. It sways and swings and leans and bends. Looks terrifying to me, but it's full of birds. They must like it. That or we have birds with bad credit; can't get a place anywhere else. Maybe my bird house is the ghetto of the bird hood. Someday we'll fix it, but truth be told, that's about number 543,655,231 on the "To Do" list.
I meant to post a lot earlier in the day, but such is life with homeschooling. Today there were puddles to be splashed in and a cake to be baked and Uno to be played and forts to be built and, well, now it's almost 11 pm and I have a minute. Had a minute. I hope there's no more late-night bruhaha tonight. If there is I'm gonna pull a Finnigan and sleep right through it. Don't tell Jackdaddy. Course, he's probably thinking the same thing. Great and devious minds think alike.