Friday, September 4, 2009

Aye, therin lies the rub

I feel comfortable saying that most people would consider me a clever girl.
Sometimes, though, I gotta wonder.
For example: my eyes have been burning and itching for, oh, exactly six days. When I say, "burning and itching" what I really mean is that I feel like I could claw them out of my head, run screaming to the sink to plunge them in some cold, clear water until I am sure they are exorcised of this demonic evil . Then, and only then, would I replace them in their sockets. That disturbing process would be less painful than what I am experiencing now, I assure you.
This is what I feel like.
So, I'm staggering around the house wailing and lamenting, gnashing and clawing, trying desperately to understand WHY this is happening. At some point I realized that life must go on - namely the cleaning of my home. So, I start to sweep. With two dogs and a boy child and a house remodel and a yard remodel I do a LOT of sweeping. As I'm sweeping my eyes are watering and then it dawns on me. I'm almost embarrassed to tell you.
Oh, hell, just see for yourself.
It's the &%*$$#* new mulch!
It's the *&%+$ mulch making my eyes explode!
I spent %&$%^$ hours unloading all that &%^## mulch and all that *%&$^# money and I'M ALLERGIC TO THE MULCH.
Hamlet's lamentations got nothing on mine.
So, what to do? Right now, I don't know. Well, I DO know that I am not going to be the one to REmove the just moved mulch. Sounds like a job for Jackdaddy, don't you think? Too bad FinnigantheCurious is only five. If he were older I could probably bribe him with a motorcycle or something.
Speaking of my boy...l
ately he's got it in his head that he really, really must try a Diet Pepsi. Don't ask, please. No, I do not drink them and no one in our family drinks them, but Finn has a mind of his own (I love that he does) and feels he must have what we encourage him not to have and that's all I'm sayin'. (Well, maybe I'll just add that he's an Aries like his grandpa). He is also very interested in trying to stay up all night.
Hey, maybe I could give him a big ole' caffeinated Diet Pepsi and let him stay up all night shoveling mulch.
See? I am a clever girl!


  1. Poor Michele, poor poor gull. The face mask says it all.
    Wonder where Finn got the idea of Diet pepsi? I don't drink diet drinks any more but lots of people do.
    How about a large tablespoonful of benadryl about 8PM? hhslpt

  2. What did you do about the much that makes you so allergic?
    That is a lot of work to do/undo.


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